Becoming more Balanced

If you are reading this maybe you believe there is a way to truly cultivate a more balanced life. There is, but I’ve found that it takes trial and error. Not really error but growth- trial and growth. The following is not a one-size fits all, but it will get you on the right path to figuring out your unique flow. Once established, major diversions from it will be apparent and will take less effort to get back on track or make adjustments for seasonal priorities.

Firm Foundation

Jeeeeeeesus, you’re my firm foundation.  I begin my day with silent prayer as I wake up and bring movement into my body then I may move into praise and worship or reading my Bible and praying audibly in my closet. Whatever combination I find myself with access to for that morning (read that again), I begin by grounding myself with the Lover of my soul. When my children’s spidey sense goes off and they wake up as soon as I open my eyes, I explain the rules and allow them to join me or set them up with something they can do quietly – *cough* their tablets – and in the case of my youngest, my breasts. This is not usually enough time to intently study God’s Word, but this does not diminish my start and truly elevates it when quiet time is routine yet organic.

Clinical Pearl: Focus on the quality (connecting with God) not the quantity of your quiet time.

I recognize that I can use what I have and give it to God to bless me for the day. I also remind myself that I can take time to dive deeper into Bible study during other parts of my day.

Routines

These have been established over time and have been adjusted for the season as much as needed. The point of a routine is to decrease the amount of mental work it takes to know what and when you are doing something on any given day.  So keep in mind that these routines should be built toward achieving your priorities of the day.

As for me and my house (outside of work hours and daily routines like dinner and bedtime):

• Monday: kids’ laundry, face mask
• Tuesday: errands, bubble bath
• Wednesday: declutter/organize, cleaners (monthly)
• Thursday: grocery shopping (utilize grocery shoppers/delivery if needed)
• Friday: food prep & cooking, facial
• Saturday: hair wash/styling day, family time
• Sunday: church, family time, meal planning

I cannot overstate this: Establish your flow. Establish your routine for self care, chores, hair day, planning/cooking meals, etc. If I must take care of something outside of its dedicated day, I will, but there is no pressure to always doing everything everyday. This helps me to focus on achieving the pre-decided items that need to get done that day. It helps me multi-task less and slow my pace. If it is not an urgent task, schedule it for where it fits into place. If this sounds like procrastination, you may be right! 😂 But don’t knock it until you try it!

Boundaries

Say no to being busy.  How sway?! Do less. Say no. Boundaries should be set in place to protect yourself, your time, and your values. There are 24 hours in a day. I have 8 hours allotted for sleep, 8 hours alloted for work, and 8 hours alloted for family, business, play, and self care. I actually have a schedule of what I intend to do at every hour of the day from the time I wake up and have my quiet time to the time I spend with my husband before going to bed. Do I follow my desired schedule daily? NO! But seeing my desired schedule as a guide throughout my day helps me to accomplish my intentions and simultaneously keep my values aligned with what I do daily. I let those around me know my boundaries and enforce them with my family as much as possible. This is primarily for me, but it also clearly models how they can establish and enforce boundaries for themselves.

It takes a Village

My mom always said to me, “We are not meant to live in silos.” We need each other. Lean on your support. This should not make you feel like a burden because your support may very well be paid. Utilize your full spectrum of resources: spouse, siblings, parents, paid subscriptions/systems (instacart, cleaning services, wash and fold), sitters/nanny, and from your village of close friends and playdate parents.

Clinical Pearl: Have a reliable person you can use for childcare established before the need arises because the need will arise.

Go ahead and get your go-to person(s) for date night or in case of an emergency – these really should not all be family. There is likely a Facebook group of sitters and nannies of the local colleges and universities already established. Share your number with your child’s favorite school friend even if you have nothing in common. Not every person in your community needs to be your best friend. You never know when you can be of help or may need help.

To the mamas feeling overwhelmed with it all, first know that I see you. You are not alone.

1. Slow down, affirm yourself, do what you can, and know that your best is more than enough – your effort is worthy.
2. Process your emotions and thoughts through prayer, journaling, and speaking with your therapist or trusted friend. Unmet expectations can lead to resentment, so speak up and communicate your needs.
3. Use my e-book to assist you with accessing mindful movement. Becoming more Balanced is a 5-part guide to pursue and experience balance in your mind, body, and spirit.

Growing through life requires a holistic approach. Here’s taking care of our whole selves.