Finding Your New Normal: Baby Sleep Training

Most people are amazed by two main things when it comes to me as a mom: my enormous milk supply and my three children (5 yo, 2 yo, 9 mo) sleeping in their beds by 7:30 pm. I’ve shared my breastfeeding tips, and now I am sharing my sleep training tips here.

Spending all day and night with your new baby is such a beautiful thing. The tender cuddles and sweet smell of milk on her breath, but mamas need sleep too! Sleep training can be controversial. If you’re here then I assume you understand the importance of establishing a routine for your baby that will work for you and your family, and more power to you if you practice attachment parenting.

When to start

Routines are beneficial for children because it creates a more calm household when they know what to expect. On the other hand, routines can sometimes be difficult because you have to commit to make it work. Then once it works, you are somewhat tied to keeping that consistency. It is best to discuss with your child’s medical provider prior to beginning sleep training as this will directly affect feeding. We were given the okay to begin sleep training once our babies were over 10 lbs, and then we gave it more time to be mentally and emotionally ready ourselves. With all of that said, I have always started sleep training prior to returning to work from my 12 wk maternity leave to promote sleeping through the night and to establish a feeding schedule. Every child is different, but I believe it is easier to establish healthy sleep habits instead of correcting difficult sleep habits.

Clinical Pearl: The goal with sleep training is to allow your baby to develop the ability to self-soothe. Many of the things we do as caregivers, which come naturally, do not promote baby self-soothing and can take its place.

Dos and Don’ts of baby soothing

It may be difficult, but avoid the following:

• baby sleeping off at breast/bottle or while being held
• use of a pacifier outside of naps and bedtime
• rocking your baby
• use of a swing

So what’s left, right?! Here are some of the things I do to help soothe my babies:

• hold him to my chest and take deep breaths (this helps me and him)
• shush (like the sound of white noise)
• pat, rub, or firm touch with open hand on his back or belly
• swaddle (using the large swaddle blankets and making it snug)
• utilize a schedule to anticipate his needs

How to start

I love the moms on call schedule. It does a great job of pacing the day and explaining the science behind some of baby’s sleep behaviors. Essentially, the routine is eat, play, sleep. It is much easier for baby to sleep on his own if he is not exhausted. I put my babies down in their cribs awake 95% of the time. Putting your baby to sleep in a separate room is key because they make many noises that they can self-sooth and fall back asleep from. When co-sleeping, I would frequently intervene when I did not need to thus impeding the development of self soothing and even waking my baby up. Use your baby monitor! We have Nest cameras in our baby’s rooms and Arlo cameras throughout our home and outside. I added links to the products I personally use. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Embrace your child’s differences

My daughter (middle child) never fed over night once she was sleep trained. My third born typically feeds once per night because I prefer breastfeeding over pumping these days. Every child is different and your overall situation will be different for each child. There is no universal playbook that works 100% of the time. Go ahead and embrace that. Schedules will evolve as your little one grows. Here is my third born’s schedule at 9 mo, which just changed as we became more consistent with offering solids (down from 5 breastfeeding sessions to 4 and down from 4 naps to 3):

• 7 am Breastfeed
• 8 am Solids + Water
• 8:30 am Nap
• 10:30 am Breastfeed
• 11 am Solids + Water
• 12:30 pm Nap (longest nap)
• 3 pm Breastfeed
• 4:30 pm Nap (up by 6 pm latest)
• 6:30 pm Begin bedtime routine (bath, book, prayer)
• 7 pm Breastfeed
• 7:30 pm Bedtime
• 1-3 am a night time feed

In this order, here are my staples for naps/bedtime:

• clean diaper
• white noise
• sleep sack (once the swaddle is no longer recommended)
• pacifier

Sleep regression happens with growth spurts, teething, illness, etc. This does not mean your schedule does not work. Do not abandon it. Do the extra soothing within reason for that period then return to your schedule as much as you can. I hope this is helpful for you. May you and your baby have sweet dreams and a restful night!