Parenting a Preemie in the NICU
My first born was 2lb and 2oz when he was born at 27 weeks and 2 days. I frequently share that while he came into this world three months early, we were blessed to have him come home 1 month before his due date. That means he spent 60 days to the day in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). I don’t speak in detail about that period because most people do not want to know about it unless they have or had a baby in the NICU. 1 in 10 babies is born premature, but not only premature babies receive care in the NICU. It’s time to share our story.
This blog is meant to encourage parents of the NICU and share some tips for those supporting a friend or family member with a child in the NICU.
30 days in the NICU, and we unknowingly had 30 more days to go
NICU Parents
Your role is vital. Your voice matters – literally. Talk out loud to your baby. Verbalize all the questions, thoughts, and concerns that you have. Each staff has a specific role, so try to utilize the entire team from the social worker, nurse, physical therapist, respiratory therapist, lactation consultant, and neonatologist. They are all there to take care of you and your baby. The NICU staff will likely warn you of the rollercoaster of a ride it is to have a baby in the NICU. It is hard, but try not to get on that ride. Keep your eyes on God. Have friends and family praying with you and encouraging you. Tell them exactly what you need.
Do the things that the NICU staff recommend and add your own unique touch. We did firm touch and kangaroo time while reading Bible verses, praying, and singing out loud to our son. This devotional time probably took 5 to 10 minutes, and I also journaled using the Scripture, Observation, Application, and Prayer (SOAP) method. I read back over those 2015 journal entries now, and all I can say is “Wow, God is faithful.” Verses that we read over our son that I journaled are Ephesians 2:10; Philippians 4:6-7, Colossians 1:9-12, and Philippians 1:6. There are countless more Bible scriptures, but these were the ones that were right on time for us. Please share any of your favorite encouraging Bible scriptures as a reference for others in the comments. You may find it helpful to document this time and write down your thoughts. Let your emotions flow but avoid ruminating on what happened and what could have been done differently. Your testimony will be great.
The turnaround is incredibly fast once discharge planning begins. Be ready for your baby to come home when they ask you to bring in the car seat. You will not have the entire NICU staff in your home, but you should have some kind of support set-up for whatever your baby needs. You will have a lot of conversations with your health insurance carrier and different people to acquire equipment and services needed. Another blog you may find extremely helpful during your baby’s NICU stay is how to advocate for your child’s health care.
Clinical Pearl: Most health insurances give a certain max hospital stay for C-sections that is longer than a vaginal birth. Advocate for yourself to be admitted for that complete time frame in order to be in the same building as your baby for as long as possible.
Supporters of NICU Parents
It’s hard to know what a NICU parent wants or needs but please ask. I went into the hospital pregnant, and I was discharged without a baby. No one called to congratulate me and the few people I told were likely trying to be sensitive and give me space, but I felt isolated. When in doubt a text sending your love and continuing to pray will go a long way.
When a parent has a baby in the NICU, avoid asking, “what happened?” Parents have likely shared the story and may not want to recount all of the events at that very moment. In my case, the medical providers did not even have one sole cause of my preterm labor. Also, when a parent has a baby in the NICU, avoid asking, “What’s wrong with him?” A more supportive question would be, “What can I pray with you for?” It can be hard navigating traumatic times with family and friends, but your support is needed.
