When your vacation goes wrong
My husband and I planned a 24 hour staycation at Serenbe, a remote wellness community of Georgia. I went there earlier this year for a personal self care retreat at the end of my maternity leave, which I shared about in this blog. Wow! That really feels like 2 years ago. This was before COVID-19 dramatically changed our entire ways of living. This short staycation with my husband was so needed but did not turn out as expected due to my worrying about our baby during the majority of this trip, which is not my M.O.
What do you do when your getaway is not the relaxing pause in reality that you were expecting? I am sharing these tips to help you better navigate this space if you find yourself in a similar situation.
Use established caregivers and routines
First there should be no major changes added on top of mommy and daddy being gone. That is
enough. Your caregiver ideally will be well known and know how to follow the family routines. If you have to use someone new, give them trial runs leading up to your time away with you close by running errands or out for dinner. Also (this is where I went wrong), if you are exclusively breastfeeding make sure your baby is going to take a bottle from that caregiver. I assumed that once I was out of the house, he would have no choice but to drink the pumped milk. That approach is not fair to the caregiver. If your caregiver is in distress, you will likely be in distress too. Unfortunately, the timing was just perfect that my baby was actively teething and is only soothed by breastfeeding.
Do what you cannot do at home
Yes! All of it. Whether it would be inappropriate to do around your children or they would ask to partake and not let you freely enjoy… do that! Enjoy the fullness of your freedom. My husband watched live football and slept well; I ate a birthday cupcake before dinner while pumping; and a lot of other desserts were enjoyed!
Pull out your to-do list
I hate to say it, but at least you know you’ll go home with a couple of things crossed off that perpetual to-do list. This was my chance to do some things that I generally do not do on a regular and require a certain headspace to dive into the research required to get it done (eg. re-establish the wi-fi connection between my camera and phone). I also washed my hair and did a quick blow-out. I brought my dirty make-up brushes along too but didn’t get to wash them because it was nearing midnight and I thought I was going to get in bed and sleep.
Eat well
Every meal was incredible. Even better, we were able to slowly eat and talk. We talked about random things but mostly our children. We enjoyed lots of laughter too. Something that has been annoying our children of late. They literally do not want us to have conversations with each other or laugh in their presence.
Get your services
Anything that you have scheduled (facial, massage, manicure, pedicure, etc), do it. They may be effective distractions. Also try prayer and grounding techniques to bring you to the present.
Stay open to divine serendipity
I am thankful for the confirmation that I was supposed to be there enjoying time with my husband and taking the space and time to rest. This confirmation came at check-in as I received our room and golf cart key: they had us in room 7. My husband and I got married on our 7 year dating anniversary, April 7th, 2012! God sent me the most beautiful message that He cares.
Despite all of this, I allowed a lack of boundaries to allow me to take on unnecessary anxiety and disrupt my peace. We can have peace, love, space for rest, but that does not mean we experience those things. May you have and experience the Prince of Peace, His abundant love, and restorative rest throughout your holiday season.
